I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
