Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
