she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
