Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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