I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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