Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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