I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
