Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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