shes about as inviting as chlamydia
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
