two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
