and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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