My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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