Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
