yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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