Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
2020 sucks, I want a refund
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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