bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
