If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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