What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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