I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
