Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
My feet surprised me
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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