Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
