At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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