Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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