You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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