4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
