She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
