just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
