I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
