There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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