At least make sure they are 18
Why
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize