Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
