break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
