Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize