You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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