So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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