I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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