i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
