Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
accomplished twins. life is a go
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize