Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
