It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
