They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
