just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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