I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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