Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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