Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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