Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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