every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
