Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
