Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
