2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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