I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I love how my cats smell like pot.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
