Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Im part way to drunk.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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