You're so nebulous sometimes
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
