mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
