I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
