You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize