Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
