so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
