god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
this is an emotional support booty call
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
