You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
