she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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