Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
