SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize