the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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