he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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