I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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