I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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